5 Signs your Thesis is Bad (and how to fix it)
In honor of “paper-writing season” at universities and seminaries everywhere, I present to you a brief list of Bad Theses. But despair not; if your thesis falls under one of these categories, there’s (usually) an easy fix. For our purposes, I’ll be focusing on classic exegetical and theological examples, but of course you see these in any discipline.
The “Void”
What it Is
The easiest mistake, and probably the hardest one to fix, is to simply not have a thesis. There are actually two ways of doing this, and for this first one, “the Void,” you don’t have a thesis because you don’t have anything you want to write about. This is sometimes called “writer’s block.” You need to write something, but either there’s too much going on in your head or, just as bad, too little.
How to Spot it
This one is not hard to spot. If there’s too little going on in your head, you will find yourself staring at a blank page, tapping your pencil, lost in the library, or staring into the middle distance.
But maybe there’s actually a lot written down on the page? Maybe you have dozens of library books sitting on your desk? You’ve done a ton of research and still have nothing that really grips you? You may have a dozen sentences that you could point to as the “thing your paper is about,” but no one of them actually fits or is exciting to you.
Either way, welcome to “the Void.”
How to Fix It
Whether your in the first camp (too little) or the second (too much), the solution is probably the same. To quote Lucy from A Charlie Brown Christmas: “you need involvement.” You may have some information, but you’re not sure what to say. The solution might be pretty easy in this case: just keep going. But if you get stuck at this stage, maybe it’s because you’re not really interested in anything. Your bored. In that case, start asking yourself (and maybe others) questions. Get yourself un-bored by finding a question or problem that interests you. If your supposed to be writing on a text of Scripture, write out a bunch of questions about that text. If it’s a theological topic, consider questions that people ask you about that topic, or consider a puzzle for which you have not yet found a satisfying answer. Don’t aim at “fulfilling the requirements of the assignment;” rather, get personally invested in something that you find interesting. People often get stuck at this stage because they are writing for the teacher; don’t do that. Write because you want to write, then either “package” your topic so that it fits the assignment, or talk to your teacher and ask if you can do something a bit out of the box (your teacher will likely rather read an interesting paper than a bad paper).
The “Mess”
What it Is
The second type of thesis-less paper is “the Mess.” This occurs when you have a lot to say but you don’t know how it all fits together. Maybe you think it’s all related, but you’re either personally unclear as to how, or unable to convince your reader that it’s all connected. Your that guy in the basement with 1000 pictures on the wall all tied together with strings. “It all connects,” you insist, but the rest of us think you need to cut down on the coffee.
How to Spot it
This can show up in a number of ways. Maybe your paper’s introduction is 8 pages long. Maybe it takes five sentences to get your thesis out, instead of just the industry standard of one (or your “one” sentence has multiple semi-colons, or is really just a list of independent ideas). Another give-away that you have made “a Mess” is your paper is way too long and has way too many moving parts.
How to Fix It
This one is challenging. The first step is to make sure you are clear how it all fits together. Give yourself five minutes. Force yourself to convince someone that your argument is correct in an elevator ride. What’s the main point and what’s your principal evidence? Focus here on proof–that is, take out all the bits that you think are interesting, all the side discussions, all that material that you did a lot of work on, but in the end doesn’t really matter for your point. What are the essentials?
The second step is to turn this 5-minute abstract into a single, interesting, and catchy sentence. You don’t need to summarize your whole argument here; what you need to do is capture the attention of your reader while also being concrete and specific about what your paper will entail. I discovered this principle of communication in the wonderful book Made to Stick., which I highly recommend. One example they use in that book is the “pitch meeting” for the movie Alien. How would you memorably describe Alien to a group of executives such that they intuitively want to green light the project? The producers decided on “Jaws in space.” That’s what you’re going for in a thesis (though be a bit more academic about it). Short, punchy, straightforward, specific, accurate. It’s a challenge, but it’s worth it.
The “Mystery”
What it Is
In this type, you know what your thesis is, but for reasons known only to you you’ve decided to keep it secret from the rest of us. Perhaps you’re waiting for the “grand reveal” at the end of the paper. Or perhaps you’re not very good at signaling “hey look here! It’s my thesis!” But for whatever reason, there is no consensus among your readers as to which sentence in your paper constitutes the main point.
How to Spot it
I suppose the first step is: do you know where your thesis is? Can you point to a sentence in your first several paragraphs (preferably the first, but at least on the first page or so) that simply “says it all?” If not, all you need to do is write that sentence.
Maybe you do know where your thesis is, but no one else does. You’re not sending clear signals to your reader. Your thesis is not where they expect it to be, and it lacks the kind of gravitas and specificity that readers need in a thesis statement.
There’s also papers that are intentionally trying to be mysterious. Here there is, in fact, a sentence that is clearly your thesis, but the sentence in question is being a bit withholding. It does not, in fact, “say it all.” You tell us part of what you what you want to say, but you’re withholding the punch until the end. Don’t do that. This isn’t a mystery drama; it’s an academic paper. Spoil your ending. If you want to wow us with your writing talents, do it by writing a clear, cogent, and interesting paper in as few pages as possible.
How to Fix It
The fix here is usually very simple. Follow these two steps.
- Step 1: Fill in the blank. “The thesis of my paper is _____________.”
- Step 2. Copy and Paste the results of Step 1 into your existing paper, preferably as the last sentence of the first paragraph.
Follow those steps and you will be good to go. Is it high literature? No. Is it banal and obvious? Yes. Your thesis doesn’t need to be exciting; save the excitement for your actual ideas.
Another way to do this is to think of your thesis as an answer to a question. If you think of it that way, your first paragraph pretty much writes itself. Your first or second sentence is simply the question you’re asking. The next 2-3 sentences provide a punchy justification for the significance of your question. Then the last sentence you say “In this paper I will argue that the answer to this question is _________.” Again, it’s not high literature, but like a pick-up-truck, it does the job.
The “Snipe Hunt”
What it is
For those of you who didn’t grow up camping, a “snipe hunt” refers to a classic prank in which your “friends” organize a search in the woods for the ever elusive “snipe.” Be warned: there is no such thing as a snipe, and you’re going to end up left and the laughed at. Turning to academic papers, a “snipe hunt” occurs when your thesis is unprovable. You are searching for something that can’t be found; your paper may contain a lot of useful information, but in the end your claim is either unprovable or internally inconsistent.
How to spot it
Papers in this category are a bit more subtle and hard to distinguish, and sometimes classifying them as a snipe hunt will be a matter of debate. What claim is the paper making? Is that claim provable? Are there logical or factual problems in the nature of the claim itself? Is it logically consistent? What are some methods for establishing that the claim is true? How would you prove it wrong?
This often happens with anachronisms. “In this paper I’m going to establish Paul’s position on the relationship between quantum mechanics and general relativity.” Well, Paul doesn’t have a position on those subjects, so this paper appears to be a waste of time. That’s a comically egregious example, but it can happen in more subtle ways. What comes immediately to mind here are all the discussions about sexuality, identity, race, etc. Those are very important topics, but the writers of the NT would not recognize any of them, at least not in the form under which we are discussing them.
Another type of paper in this category occurs when there is a logical problem internal to the thesis. Universal negatives, for example, cannot be proven, only disproven, so a claim like “no one in the ancient world believed x, y, or z” is ultimately impossible to establish. Similarly, “always” claims are ultimately probabilistic, rather than strictly provable.
How to fix it
In the example of the universal negative, the fix is probably easy. You just need to reword it. “We have no record of an ancient author claiming x, y, or z.” A lot of unprovable claims are the result of over-claiming. Tone it down a bit and you’ll be fine. Anachronism is often more difficult to avoid, but you will be able to make a stronger argument if you do. Instead of discussing “Paul’s view of sexuality” you can discuss “how Paul’s theological anthropology impacts contemporary debates about sexuality.” Really, though, the “fix” here is to be sensitive to the rules of logic and argument while also more historically and culturally aware.
The “Massive Open World”
What it is
A lot of papers have the illusion of a thesis, but in reality you have made no claims and therefore can offer no arguments. For your paper to have a true thesis you must make a claim. You need a goal. There needs to be an end-game. A lot of papers have “topics” but no thesis. “In this paper I’m going to talk about divine sovereignty and human responsibility.” Ok, great. But what are you going to actually say about that topic? What’s your claim? If there’s no claim, your paper is ultimately going to be a ramble. You have no real goal or agenda, and as such, you’re going to end up wandering aimlessly around. With “topic” theses you have so much to do that you end up doing nothing.
How to spot it
There are some frequent keywords that are a dead give-away here. “Exploring” is a popular one. “In this paper we’re going to explore 1 Peter 3:18-22.” Now on the one hand it’s great that I know what your paper is going to talk about, but on the other I don’t know what you’re going to say. It’s likely you don’t either, which is why you end up talking about a lot of random things loosely related to 1 Peter 3. In the end your paper is more commentary than paper, or worse, a series of things you find interesting about 1 Peter. 3:18-22. Other key words and phrases: “this paper is about;” any statement with an interrogative word in it (“how,” “what,” “why”); a list of topics rather than an assertion.
Another great way to spot this type of thesis is to ask yourself “what would falsify this thesis?” How would someone prove you wrong? If there’s no conceivable way to prove you wrong, it’s probably not a sign that your thesis is unassailable; on the contrary, it’s probably a sign that you aren’t making a claim at all.
Let’s test it on this example. “In this paper on Galatians 5 I’m going to show how Paul connects the necessity of obedience to his claim that we are saved by faith.” That’s a great topic, but it’s not a great thesis. I can’t really prove it wrong because you haven’t actually claimed anything. Now if you told me how he does it–for example, “he connects faith in works by arguing that works are the natural fruit of faith,” well then you have made a claim.
How to Fix It
These can be hard papers to fix. You might get lucky. Presumably you have written a conclusion. Do you make a claim in the conclusion? Has your entire paper been an argument that culminates in that conclusive claim? Congratulations! You’ve found your thesis! Copy that sentence to your first paragraph and then write a new conclusion in which you tell your reader why they should care that your thesis is true, or maybe what the next step in research might be, or some other implication of your thesis.
But maybe your not so lucky. It’s amazing how much we can say without really saying anything. This often happens we you jump into writing your paper around a topic rather than a claim. You had a lot of fun doing the research, you explored every nook and cranny, you followed every thread and collected every piece of data. But you forgot to follow the main questline. There’s no easy fix here, but there’s still hope. What got you interested in the topic in the first place? You’ve done the research; you’ve got the evidence; you know the field. Now just figure out what the point of it all is. It’s likely that your paper will need to be reorganized, but not rewritten. You’ve got the gear, you just need to get back on the path.
Truly helpful advice here. I will share this with my current students. All except….well….please replace “your” with “you’re”!